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"The women," he says, "were more interested in men their own age or older." As for the men, he says: "I guess it could be nice not to hang around a ditz with no knowledge of music or something like that." "We have strong 'shoulds' on ways of partnering up," Kathryn Elliott, Ph D, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, explains to Web MD. We pathologize anything that isn't within those shoulds." The key to making older women/younger man relationships work, Elliott says, is to match what she calls voltages."Choose someone who is your voltage type -- has the same level of intensity about life.The much touted idea that women peak sexually in their 30s and men in their teens does not enter into it -- most of these couples are beyond both those age periods.But what about the notion that men are "hard-wired" to seek a smooth-faced, curvy receptacle for reproduction and thus are drawn to younger women?If the voltages are different, one becomes the pursuer and one the distancer.
She has been in several relationships with men up to 20 years younger than herself.
Though hardly a scientific study, the research surfaced three myths such couples hear every time: Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. "All they can do to get a woman is dangle their Porsche keys." As you peel back the decades, though, the men get "cooler," she says.
If you are dating a woman with kids, you probably aren’t doing it just for fun. You’ve got to have the talk.”I bring that up because that is a classic case where a single guy began dating a woman with a child, and had so much to learn and go through.
Tessina, Ph D, a licensed family therapist in practice in Long Beach, Calif., and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, tells Web MD.
For their part, the men like the sophistication and life success of their older mates, she explains.