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This period is notable for looking for ways to right the wrong, to find a reason and to remedy it.The notion that a miscarriage can occur without cause or that one cannot prevent it is highly upsetting, and this stage is focused on fixing things. It can be physically uncomfortable to downright painful, but the emotional aspects of a miscarriage are far more profound, multifaceted, and often require more time for resolution.Whether a woman is newly pregnant or farther along at the time of miscarriage is irrelevant—loss is loss. Once the OB provides a due date, we naturally construct a mental image of what life with a baby will look like, and thoughts about a new family flood our minds.If a pregnancy is far enough along, women may misattribute gas or cramping to phantom kicks, which also reinforce this sense of denial.Some women externalize anger: 'I did everything right, I took my prenatal vitamins and I ate well.This sometimes throws a woman back to a lower step such as anger or depression.
Eventually, days will pass without thinking of the miscarriage, which can cause guilt.
If this stage is severe enough to negatively impact daily life for more than several days or if there's any thought of self-harm, please reach out for help from a trained mental professional.
Ask your OBGYN for a referral or go to to connect with a local coordinator who can help you find a perinatal and reproductive psychiatry trained clinician in your area.
Then when the pregnancy ends prematurely, a woman is left to grieve the actual loss along with this theoretical future family that will never be. Grief after miscarriage is similar to any other form of loss, and it conforms to the well-known Kubler-Ross Grief steps, with a few alterations.
Women often progress forwards and then take steps back before moving forward again and eventually feeling relatively comfortable with the past and the new normal.