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Revenge is not the answer when it comes to the NFH but that does not mean that you can’t have a laugh along the way (in fact we recommend it) because there is no shortage of amusement to be had in figuring out the inner workings of the mind of the NFH.
Being reasonable and reasoned, quietly and persistently standing up for your right to peacefully enjoy your life and ignoring the often infantile provocations of the NFH will quite often be enough to ‘do their heads in’ and ‘mess with them’.
Ever since then, when I meet someone who spews out anger and negativity, it offers me a glimpse of how awful their internal experience of the world is.
A person who is content and has peace of mind is very unlikely to project anger and bitterness on a regular basis.
As a general rule, I have often found that the people I encounter who are aggressive, judgemental, miserable, rude or just plain horrid usually have a reason for being the way they are.
As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.
When it comes to the NFH you need to be the adult because they probably won’t be.
She went on to explain that these negative behaviours were projections of inner misery and chaos.
What this technique does, is allow you to ‘frame’ the other person in a different light.
It helps you to see them as a person,who was once small and powerless just like you. We often get caught up in the hype surrounding a person – they’re the CEO of a huge corporation, they’re a celebrity..whatever it is, it can lead us to thoughts that don’t assist us.
We’ve all been in the company of someone who makes us feel on edge, uneasy or unsure of ourselves.
There is a very clever way to deal with this situation.