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But this would take time, involve conflict, and also mean that the kids would be more of a presence in your life—which brings me back to the package deal I mentioned earlier. On the days that Adam has the kids, are you there, too, or does Adam spend that time alone with them?

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You’re going to have to embrace the fact that your boyfriend is a father and was before he met you, and if you want to be with him, you’ll have to make peace with what it is you’re signing up for.

But others will require you both to talk about your expectations in this relationship.

While you want to be with Adam, you must understand that the person you’re in love with is somebody who has a family.

Dear Therapist, I’ve been dating Adam for two and a half years.

I’m 33 and childless, and he’s 48, divorced, and the father of three kids.

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