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Was the divorce amicable and are both parties on good terms?Are you actively involved in each others’ lives as “friends”? How long was the relationship failing before you broke up?Some of my clients will even jokingly ask me for one in the weeks and months following a breakup.And many have the same questions for me, their therapist and personal breakup coach: “how long is the pain going to last?We long for those butterfly feelings, the giddy excitement of feeling desire and being desirable. For some, a breakup may trigger powerful fears of never finding that special someone to build a life with.
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” One week for every year of the relationship is one of the most common healing time prescriptions.
But I promise, there is no magic formula that will guarantee when you will be ready to open up your heart to someone new.
But I thought it was an important question, which is why I want to analyze it with you. I made the conscious decision to move on instantly.
The only “right” answer is “whenever it feels right, as long as you’re not hurting anybody else.” The thing is: you might be surprised when you’re hurting someone else. The best example I can provide is from my own life. To me, it was the equivalent of being fired from a job. I was in no position to be a boyfriend to anyone but my beloved ex-girlfriend. My need to move on superseded her need to be with an emotionally available guy…. If so — if you’ve mourned, if you’ve healed, if you’ve made peace — then you’re ready whenever you say you’re ready.