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It is by far not impossible and I know quite a few girls who don’t only have a Japanese boyfriend, but are also married to a Japanese man, but it is still the BIG exception!
Some of us will go through a hard time here in Japan.
Things that they fear a foreign woman would not agree to do (e.g.
stay home, take care of the kids, always pour new alcohol into his empty glass etc.).
You’ll start to feel completely unattractive and ignored at times.
Of course, you get a lot of attention and there’s all this staring, but it’s not because anybody is flirting with you … It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women.
For some reason (maybe through the consumption of too many Hollywood movies) Japanese women think that foreign men are like that!
A lot of Japanese women want a guy that tells them several times a day how much he loves them.
Because of all that I’ve seen couples who got divorced, even when there were kids involved.
I noticed that those kind of relationships seem to work out better if they live in his home country and not in Japan.
Most foreign men on the other hand, have no issues approaching a Japanese woman in English – or even in broken Japanese.
These are just a few theories by friends, co-workers and myself.